I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
