You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
