Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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