"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
