first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
