Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize