So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
