So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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