guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
