Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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