hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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