he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
