what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
