I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
