I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
