The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
