The best revenge is premature balding
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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