your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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