I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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