he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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