why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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