As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
