i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
