My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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