There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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