now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize