i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize