His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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