If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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