i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Mom said you looked used
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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