When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
