i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
