I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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