I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize