we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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