Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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