I am puke
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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