And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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