I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
why is half of my head shaved?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
