At least make sure they are 18
Why
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
