I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
