Your mouth is God's brothel.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
