HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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