I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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