Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
