Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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