So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there was a trapeze. enough said
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
All I want is dick and wine.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
