very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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