Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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