Plan B is the new Plan A
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
