i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have aggressive nipples.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
