I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
it glows. i had to have it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
