worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
