More tranny stories later!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
