my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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