it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
