was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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