i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
