So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
