i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
