wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
