did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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